Home Sick, Made an Entry

I'm sick today, figure I might as well make an entry. Someone very dear to me recently mock-chastized me for not updating more frequently. She needs more to do at work when she's bored.

For those of you who loved David Fincher's adaptation of Fight Club, but thought what this needs is more singing and dancing - here comes the "Bollywood" remake: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0456413/.

I wanted to make a series of posts since my last entry, but who has the time? Here's a rundown of a few ideas I had.

1) "The IHOP" - a few weekends ago, I went to IHOP with my dad and sisters. I ate some raisin bran with bananas, had a few laughs, etc. When it was time to leave, some fortysomething leather jacket-wearing duuude said to me, "Aw we know why you're here." And I said, "Oh? Why's that?" "All you can eat pancakes! Hyuck! Hyuck!"

I didn't know what retort to make t0 this, so I ventured a lame, "Yeah . . . thanks." The guy acted like I kicked him in the balls, and exclaimed with much disgust, "What?!? Aw, man, he has a complex about being fat! I thought only chicks had complexes about being fat!" He walked away, and my lame retort was "Whatever."

Most of the time, I get moments of what the French call "Staircase Wit" - aka what I shoulda said. It's been about three weeks, and, still, nothing has occurred to me.

Also, little kids LOVE me. They love to point out how FAT I am to their parents. I swear, it's happened six times in the last month alone. I'll be someplace, and a little kid, with all the zeal of someone who's spotted a UFO, bellows, seemingly uncontrollably, "Mommy! Mommy! Look at him!" Kids in the range of about four years old seem to have some involuntary reaction to the sight of me. The parents' reaction is always one of embarrassment; they tug their kid's hand to move quicker while not making eye contact with me, or they shush the kid. But I've not heard any tell the kid it's not polite to call someone fat, even when he clearly is.

2) "'Intendo" - that's what the Maysville drawl called it. I had a dream a few weeks ago where my Mom and sister and I saw some weird foreign film that had Nintendo in it, and it reminded me of The Wizard. No one remembers that flick. It starred Fred Savage. Fred discovered his autistic younger brother was a video playing savant, and took him to a video game contest. I saw the movie with Danny, and the only reason we went was the sneak peek at Super Mario Bros. 3, which was not yet released. Of course, once the video game was released, the flick's main attraction was rendered moot.

So, I was gonna write a love letter to Nintendo. A remembrance of how I wasn't very good at it, but played anyway, with all my heart. I was also gonna talk about that running pad that came with our family Nintendo (we missed out on the robot). The only game we had for the running pad was a track and field. I always thought it'd be cool if they made a Mario game where you had to run and jump on the turtles and goombas. Imagine how fun that'd be.

Imagine it!!!